Monday, January 28, 2008

I want to be a better friend. What does that mean? Do you want to see your friends more often? Do you wish you had more time for them? Do you want to listen more? Do you want to remember birthdays? How do you WANT to be a better friend? I want to be more active. What do you want to do? Do you want to skate, run, hike, go to the gym, swim, what is it you want to do and how often do you want to do it? Do you want to do it monthly, weekly, daily, semi-annually, how often? Be specific. I want to start my own business. What kind of business? How? Who are your customers going to be? How much money will you need to get started; what tools will you use? How will you sell your product or service? Who will sell your product or service? I want to be a better parent. What does that mean? Do you want to spend more time with your children? If so, how much more time and when? Do you want to have more patience with them; do you want to listen more and lecture less? Do you want to feed them healthier meals; do you want to talk to them more? How do you want to be a better parent? What do you expect from yourself? Perhaps your goal is to be happy. Once again, and above all else, being happy is too vague. What will it take for you to be happy? What makes you happy? Is it more time, more money, finding a better job? This all sounds familiar, doesn't it? Hopefully you can see that redefining your goals is all about asking questions of yourself. The more questions you ask, the more answers you?ll find. Write your questions down. Write your answers down too. More lists? Yep, more lists!! Lists help you to crystallize your thinking. They force you to get clear. Now that you're clear, next month we'll take the next step.

I want more money. How much more money do you want? Do you want $10 more a day, $50 more a day or $100 more a day. Figure it out. Sure some of you will say, I want a million dollars a year! Who wouldn't? But I find that most of us will be reasonable when we're specifying exactly how much more money we want. I want a better job. This one may tie in with the one from above. What kind of better job? In what industry, doing what? Does a better job mean more money, more responsibility, more interesting tasks? If so, how much more money. How much and what kind of increased responsibilities. What kind of interesting tasks. What does "a better job" really mean? I want a BDSM partner. Who is he; what does he look like? What does he do? How does he treat you? How does he treat your children? What are his interests? Does he smoke? Does he drink? Define him in detail. What kind of relationship do you want? Think about that one. Really think. Often we think we want one kind of relationship and then we get it and wish we had another. Be honest with yourself.